Wow – it’s been over two months since I took pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?) and wrote a post here. My apologies in advance for this post – it’s a bit of a mishmash of topics and thoughts, but it is a reflection of my life lately.
The past two-plus months have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride – speeding along on a straightaway before suddenly plummeting to earth, only to be jerked sideways right before hitting the ground. The ride continues for a bit with many ups and downs, and then you suddenly come to a stop only to realize you’re pretty much back where you started but some of the people around you have changed, and you’re wondering where to go next.
This winter has been a rough one. I’m not a winter person by any stretch of the imagination, but I know most Torontonians will agree that this was one of the coldest, longest winters in quite some time. I’m not ashamed to admit the cold and the grey got to me, and the joy I once felt when composing something for this blog disappeared, leaving me uninspired and frankly unwilling to put in the time necessary to write a post when there was serious hibernating to be done.
Adding to my winter blues, the past two months also saw the end of my four year relationship. It’s so odd that something you were once so sure of can become something you can no longer see continuing. How does that happen? How do you go from having things mapped out, to floundering in a sea of uncertainty – unsure of what direction is the best one to go? I wonder have I changed that much, or has what I want to achieve and accomplish with my life changed so drastically that what I thought was a clear path has suddenly become a foggy road full of twists and turns?
A year ago I don’t think I ever thought I’d be here – 35(yup – I hit this milestone in the past two months as well), single, and strangely back at school. Those who’ve known me for years know that I’ve never been that academically inclined. I coasted through grade school with barely a thought and (let’s be honest) minimal effort. My first go-round at post-secondary schooling was a rather dismal failure (seriously – whose genius idea was it to major in Political Science?), and I’m quite determined that this time will be a different story.
The part-time Interior Decorating program I’m enrolled in comprises of 14 courses which are meant to be completed within 3 years. I’m so determined to get this done I’ve decided (wisely or not) to fast track – taking 3 courses at a time. Hopefully this means I’ll be finished them all by next Christmas – just 1.5 years after I started. At times it’s overwhelming. I figured it out the other day – I’m in class on average 12hrs a week on top of my 40hr work week. Did you know that full-time post-secondary schooling is considered 12 or more hours a week? Neither did I, but apparently I’ve been working full time while attending class full time for the past 12 weeks. No wonder I’m tired.
This blog has been shoved to the back burner of my very over-filled stove for the last little bit – a lot of that was due to my workload (did I mention the hours of homework, as well as the duties associated with being President of my condo Board?), but a portion was due to a general feeling of apathy towards it. The self-imposed expectation of a minimum of one home décor post a week is rather stifling – some weeks I just don’t have anything home décor related that I’m excited to share. Is there a rule somewhere that says since I’ve delared this to be a home decorating blog I should only share décor related things? While I love Interior decorating, that’s not all that I’m interested in – I love food, and travel, and humour, and wine, and current events, and all sorts of other things – why have I been restricting myself to sharing only one part of the things that interest me?
Don’t worry, this blog isn’t going to suddenly turn into a political commentary on the current status of Toronto’s City Hall (although, if Rob Ford is elected Mayor again I may have to move) but going forward I’m hoping to be able to unapologetically share some of the other things that catch my interest.
I’m working on some other changes to the blog (a new look, a name change perhaps?) which I hope to share in the next little bit (as well as a Para Paint Crew project next week) – but in the meantime I hope you’ll stick around as I strive to find my feet again after this latest rollercoaster ride and as I continue to muddle through this wonderful thing called life.